You Experience. You Learn.

It’s hard to let go of something- anything. And it’s even harder to let someone go. We all know that, we’ve all been there. From letting go of those little bits and pieces of your childhood to letting someone -whom you had gotten to know very well- go from your life just like that… is quite difficult. Truly, this Just Like That is bigger than all of the Just Like That’s combined.

They ask you, why. Why did you step back when you could’ve stayed or why did you let them walk away like that? In the back of your mind, you know you don’t have a legitimate answer- if you’re being honest. You just know that the reason you parted ways with them is that it was meant to happen. You do what you were meant to do. In general, this is what you call fate and you are very well aware of the fact that everything happens for a reason. Yet, when it happens, you can’t help but feel sad? Depressed? At loss of words? Vulnerable? Kinda hopeless….?

Like how funny is it? You meet them, you get to know them, you joke around with them, you get to know their little secrets and then, all of a sudden, you let them go. And they let you go. Because if you don’t make that decision right at that very moment, both of you are gonna end up hurting even more than you are hurting at the moment.

It hurts the most when it is you who makes the decision. You, the kind of person, who cannot even decide what to wear on a normal day, makes a decision as big as letting someone out of your life, never to meet them again. You fear the aftermath of the decision. You fear the consequences that you’ll probably have to face afterwards yet you make that decision. Because you can’t work it out. You both have the feeling that it’s not gonna work out.

Sometimes, things just don’t work out.

So you put your brave face on, you fake a smile, you react to memes just like you’ve always done and you joke around your friends but at night when you’re supposed to sleep… you lose it. You lose yourself. You lose the control on yourself. You cry. You pray. You talk to God. You remember all the little details and all the good memories from the time you knew them and then you cry again. Then you pray again. You talk to God again. You make a conversation with Him, you tell Him how you feel and you ask for forgiveness and you ask for the better of you and them, too, cause they’ve been nothing but good to you (and yet you had to let them go). You sigh and try to shake off all the thoughts before resuming praying and crying and then you kind of get the feeling that He is listening and that is when you feel at peace. You begin to feel unconscious of your surroundings and you finally drift off to sleep. And you sleep away.

Then there comes a day, when you wake up, you find yourself calm and relaxed. Probably because you have now realized that you’ll only get what He has planned for you. So you put your faith in Him and try to move on. You know the best has yet to come and you continue to move forward with your life hoping for the best. You also start being grateful to Him for every single thing which is a first for you and you realize that experiences indeed makes you learn stuff but it also gets you closer to Him than you were before.

And that feeling is so surreal, you just never want to let go of it.

So you start caring about yourself and find yourself worrying about assignments again and you finally begin smiling again for real. You try to stay positive. You encourage others to think positive. Your faith in Him keeps getting stronger. You do not fear the consequences anymore though you think about it sometimes and you still might get tears in your eyes but you quickly let go of that feeling and ask for your betterment from Him.

They tell you that forgetting something could take a lot of time but you’re fine with it. You’re taking things at your own pace and you know that’s completely normal and allowed. Though you still have good days and bad days. You still worry about your future everyday cause you’re still scared of it but that’s where faith jumps in and you know it’s all going to be alright.

Because you are reminded that He is with you. Always. Then there’s nothing to worry about, right?

Right.

Cause you’ve also learnt that everything happens for our own good….

You just gotta wait!

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Posted on May 24, 2017, in Sprinkles of Randomness. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I held my breath by the middle of this post because every line, every single word was so, so relatable. As if it was written just for me, completely.

    So many feelings in this one. And truth. And wonderful writing overall. ❤

    • Oh, what a relief. I was afraid, I was being way too dramatic but couldn’t help myself from writing this. To know that someone could relate with all these feelings, feels good and bad at the same time.. I mean you should not go through this but it’s part of life..

      I’m glad to know that you thought it was written wonderfully! Thank you! 🙂

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